today is a hard day. i'm trying to stay relaxed and spend lots of time soaking up my sons this week. but today has turned into an uphill battle. they fight, they are destructive, i can't seem to get the bare minimum accomplished, and i'm emotionally beat this week already do to some more follow up to Nick's health (nothing the dr. is concerned about at this point but we will be waiting and watching and checking up in 3 months). and tonight i'm supposed to go minister to more kids at our "Wednesdays in the Park" program. how???
only by the grace of God.
that's all there is to it. not saying that makes everything else. not in the least. but it does make everything do-able. i can trust that He will get me through the day. the trials will not diminish, no, they will persist even after i fall asleep; i will have the grace to be able to walk though them. the children may not behave better, in fact, they may get worse; but my peace and joy will be enough.
"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way."
i have assurance that He knows the battles in my heart today and is more than capable of holding me together as i battle though this day. and in those thoughts, i find a little bit of peace...