the painful truth of Proverbs 29

2 verses that i read on Saturday that stuck with me all weekend.

Proverbs 29:11
"A fool always loses his temper,
But a wise man holds it back."

Proverbs 29:15
"The rod and reproof give wisdom,
But a child who gets his own way
  brings shame to his mother."

both are kind of a slap in the face for me.  i have been losing my temper with the boys from time to time.  even once a day is too much (kind of ties back to my whole idea of "daily"  this year.  i must daily have fresh patience.).  i must remember that when i lose it, i'm being a fool.  point blank.  no beating around the bush.  that's just the fact.  and since my boys copy everything, the last thing i want them trying to be is a temper losing fool.  not the best english there, but hopfully you understand my point. 

i want to be like the Provers 31 woman. (which is what i read today).  she is constantly characterized by wisdom and grace.  and i'm sure you will agree that wisdom & foolishness cannot co-exist. 

the second one is convicting on 2 levels. 

1) wisdom doesn't come through lectures or warnings or second chances.  it comes through the rod and reproof.  if i do use words, i pray God gives me His Word, because mine are not perfect or divine like His are.  but i have to remember that if my boys are to grow in wisdom, it's going to come though consistant discipline.  

2) it struck me how the verse speaks of the mother.  the father is the spiritual leader in the home & he will be held accountable for that before the Lord.  but it's to my shame if my kid get's his way all the time.  i'm the one with him all day long, so God calls on me to be consistant in training and disipline (here's that theme of "daily" again).  i know all too well that it's easier to just give in.  and while i try to pick my battles (i don't want to be a dictator), if he doesn't listen in the little things, why on earth will he listen in the big things? 

but it's not really about me getting my way either.  it's about me giving him guidance and taking care of him while he lacks the discretion needed to make good choices.  it's about treaching him to love and obey the Lord!  and that starts with him learning to obey me.  so how do i teach this little unbeliever to love the Lord?  i must be willing to teach by example.

Matt 5:16
"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

so it's not about me winning the battle of getting my kids to listen.  it's about teaching them to glorify the Lord.  it's about ME glorifying the Lord.  even if they try my patience, & even if they whine and want their way.  if i take care of what i'm called to do, then God will take care of them.